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Terry's Original Quote Keepers

A minute of silence can be more productive than an hour of debate.
~Terry Braverman

Arrest yourself when under the influence of a negative thought.
~Terry Braverman

Give me levity, or give me death!
~Terry Braverman

An intimate relationship is the ultimate training.
~Terry Braverman

Clarity of purpose is the ultimate decongestant.
~Terry Braverman

Faith keeps the voice of fear out of your ear.
~Terry Braverman

Peace begins between your ears.
~Terry Braverman

Peace begins between your ears.
~Terry Braverman

Be patient, before you become a patient.
~Terry Braverman

Over-analysis causes paralysis.
~Terry Braverman

May the 'farce' be with you.
~Terry Braverman

Plan some time to be spontaneous.
~Terry Braverman

Laugh at yourself, and you will always be amused.
~Terry Braverman

Imagination sharpens the dull blade of routine.
~Terry Braverman

Inquisitiveness cures boredom; nothing cures inquisitiveness.
~Terry Braverman

Feed your soul, starve your worries.
~Terry Braverman

Avoid time in the Tower of Babble.
~Terry Braverman

Release any false sense of insecurity.
~Terry Braverman

Life is a fantasy, made real by our thoughts.
~Terry Braverman

Communication Orientation

I call (good) communication one of my top three energy enhancers. Isn’t it true that we feel happy and energized when there is good natural flow of communication between us and others that results in clear understanding? Conversely, when we are stuck in unresolved communication calamity it tends to deplete us, like pulling the stopper from a bathtub drain.

Know that even though we may all be speaking English, there are differences in communication styles that can lead to misunderstandings and mistakes. Having a strategy to adapt our communication style to others’ style can provide a positive approach to avoid and defuse conflict.

In the 1970s a new paradigm for creating rapport via adaptation of communication style was created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. It was called Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP. This model has been revised and refined over time by some, including myself. I don’t call it NLP anymore because it sounds too much like brain surgery or psychological warfare. My term is “Primary Modalities of Language,” or PML.

Essentially, there are three primary modalities by which we impart and receive communication…

Visual: via images, pictures, mental visions
Auditory: via sounds, voices

Kinesthetic: via physical sensations

And with each modality comes a specific vocabulary…

Visual:
 “I see,” “It looks like,” “It appears to be…”
Auditory:
 “I hear you,” “It sounds like,” “It rings a bell…”
Kinesthetic:
 “I feel that”, “It touches on,” “It taps into…”

These are the basics I am alluding to, but when you apply this formula to different people it gets you through the first door to their primary communication orientation, i.e., entering their world. If you’re in a foreign country it is advisable to use some of the local language for rapport. Likewise in this case, use some of the primary language when relating to people who are more visual, auditory or kinesthetic than you.

Besides vocabulary, how can you determine a person’s primary modality? Oftentimes, their profession is a strong clue. For example, if it’s a musician, chances are excellent it’s going to be auditory; an artist who paints landscapes is primarily visual; a massage therapist, kinesthetic. There are also physiological cues that I will elaborate on in the next edition.


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