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Terry's Original Quote Keepers

A minute of silence can be more productive than an hour of debate.
~Terry Braverman

Arrest yourself when under the influence of a negative thought.
~Terry Braverman

Give me levity, or give me death!
~Terry Braverman

An intimate relationship is the ultimate training.
~Terry Braverman

Clarity of purpose is the ultimate decongestant.
~Terry Braverman

Faith keeps the voice of fear out of your ear.
~Terry Braverman

Peace begins between your ears.
~Terry Braverman

Peace begins between your ears.
~Terry Braverman

Be patient, before you become a patient.
~Terry Braverman

Over-analysis causes paralysis.
~Terry Braverman

May the 'farce' be with you.
~Terry Braverman

Plan some time to be spontaneous.
~Terry Braverman

Laugh at yourself, and you will always be amused.
~Terry Braverman

Imagination sharpens the dull blade of routine.
~Terry Braverman

Inquisitiveness cures boredom; nothing cures inquisitiveness.
~Terry Braverman

Feed your soul, starve your worries.
~Terry Braverman

Avoid time in the Tower of Babble.
~Terry Braverman

Release any false sense of insecurity.
~Terry Braverman

Life is a fantasy, made real by our thoughts.
~Terry Braverman

Add to Your Communication Tool Kit

We continue in hot pursuit of communication excellence with this week’s blog. Last time we broke down the three primary modalities we use to give and receive information (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic) into three subcomponents, or sub-modalities of communication. Today I will offer an alternative paradigm in communication – deconstructing the four major personality types, and how to handle them when they’re under stress.

Like every good mechanic, a good communicator comes equipped with more than one tool to do the job. Some of us may find the visual/auditory/kinesthetic model to be fun and easily adaptable, while for others it may be cumbersome as it involves multiple levels of observation. Recognizing the four primary personality types could be a simpler way to determine patterns and select strategies that work with each type. Of course, having more than one model in your communication tool kit is a huge benefit. Let’s take a look at the Dominator, the Expressive, the Scrutinizer, and the Relater…

Plumbing the Depths of Communication

In the last blog I delved into the three primary modalities we use to give and receive information – visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. Today I’ll go into the three submodalities of communication.

The first one I call the attraction-avoidance submodality, i.e. the tendency to be primarily motivated by something (or someone) that attracts, or conversely, repulses. As an example, let’s say you’re a loan officer and giving it your best to motivate a customer to apply for a loan: “Ms. Hayes, we offer the lowest interest rate in town, without any pre-payment penalty.” Ms. Hayes isn’t motivated. Why not? She wants a loan, and the terms seem very attractive. What if the loan officer adds, “and Ms. Hayes, you won’t be faced with a huge balloon payment at the end of the term.” Now she wants the loan, because her motivation is inclined toward avoidance of something perceived as undesirable.

Tower of Babble

Listening is a lost art in our fast paced world. In our haste to get things done, people can easily misconstrue communications, with consequences such as conflict, delays, and errors in judgment. Clearly a more conscious, deliberate form of listening is desirable to enhance communication.

Have you ever wondered why we can’t seem to communicate well with some people, even if we’re all speaking the same language? Some people process information in a different “sub-language” than we do. Psychologists Richard Bandler and John Grinder developed a set of concepts and techniques intended to understand differences in communication styles, known as NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I never cared for that name…sounds too much like psychological warfare. I’m teaching soft skills, not torture. So I had to make up a softer name for it – PML, or Primary Modalities of Language.

Revelation in the Rush Hour

Several years ago a friend of mine took me to see a meditation guru from India speak at a local auditorium. At the close of the event, the master was taking questions from the audience. One person asked, “What is the best form of meditation when you’re feeling upset?” The guru sat and ruminated for about a minute with a smile spreading across his face, then said, “There is no best way to meditate. If one is stuck in rush hour traffic on the Hollywood Freeway and fully embraces the experience in a pure state of awareness and acceptance, that is meditation.”

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